Around four months ago, I was interviewed on national TV for the first time about my first book: Always Looking Up – Om att våga visa sig själv.
The experience is still surreal. I remember getting to TV4 and when I walked into the breakfast room, there were celebrities there. My first thought was, ’What am I doing here?’ My second thought was, ’Should I ask them for a picture?’ Then I decided no and told myself, I have a good reason to be here.
I brought a small suitcase with clothes, toothpaste and floss just in case anything unexpected happened before the interview. Eventually, they fixed my hair and I wore makeup for the first time.
Before it went live, I told myself that it did not matter what happened in the next eight minutes. I was already proud and all I was going to do was my best. It took me more than five years to complete the book. I was not going to base its success on an eight-minute interview, even if many people in my country were watching. That helped me let go and be present.
One of the questions the presenters asked me was about the most traumatic experience in my life so far, which happened when I was 11 years old. Back then, I did not talk about it for many years. It felt surreal that I was now talking about it on TV with hundreds of thousands of people watching. It was one of those moments where my younger self would have looked at my future self as a hero.
The interview went really well and I received many positive messages from family, friends and even people I had never met before. Some people experience a void after completing a big project or reaching a major goal. I was aware of it in advance. For me, it was more about moving on with my life and knowing that the experience would be there to guide me in future journeys and when facing uncertainty. I also see this journey as part of something bigger.
If you want to follow the bigger journey more closely, please follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gustaf_alwayslookingup/
Four months ago, I was on national TV for the first time
